In a lot of disagreements in relationships, there isn’t one clear right side and one clear wrong side. There are some situations where you’ll probably want to be acknowledged for being right, but that doesn’t have to happen every time. Sometimes we get so swept up in what we’re thinking and feeling that we lose sight of what’s really important to us. Remind yourself that being right isn’t the most important thing There’s always a reason behind someone’s behavior, and the more compassionate and curious we can be, the less shame and defensiveness people will feel. Instead of blaming them for what’s wrong in the relationship, try to find out what they’re thinking and what is driving them to behave the way they do. Try to see where your partner is coming from and understand their perspective. Instead of assuming you know what’s going on, approach the conversation from a place of curiosity. Miscommunications happen when we make assumptions about other people. Approach the situation from a place of curiosity, instead of blame How can you look at this situation as the two of you against the problem, instead of against each other? Remind each other that you’re on the same side. Remember, you’re a team and you’re in this together. So many relationship conflicts are framed as one partner versus the other, instead of both partners versus the problem. Think about how you would want them to listen to you, and act the same way. Repeat back what they’re saying to show them you’re paying attention. When you’re listening to your partner talk, focus on what they’re saying to you. It is also very frustrating to feel like you’re not being listened to. Instead of hearing what they are actually saying to you, however, you’re missing it to concentrate on what to say next. ![]() It can be tempting, especially when we’re upset, to get distracted when someone is speaking to you because you’re thinking about how to respond. The most important part of communication is listening when someone communicates with you. When you feel upset or like you need to talk, find a time sooner rather than later to talk about it so you don’t feel overwhelmed with resentment. It’s also never fun to hear from your partner that they’ve been secretly upset with you about something for a long time. It’s beneficial to wait for a moment that’s not emotionally charged to dive into a heavy discussion, but holding onto issues for too long is a recipe for resentment. On the other hand, you don’t want to wait too long to bring things up that are bothering you. Sex is emotional and vulnerable, and adding in an intense conversation in the middle of it is just seeing you up to miscommunicate. Similarly, try to avoid serious talks in the middle of sex. If you’re in the middle of an argument, see what you can both do to regroup and calm down before having any serious conversations. Starting a serious or hard talk with your partner when you’re already emotional can make things go from bad to worse. Having a hard conversation is already, well, hard enough. Are you worried about how to approach hard conversations with your partner? Here are 8 ideas to make it easier: Wait for a moment that’s not emotionally charged No relationship is perfect, and it will be impossible to avoid having some hard conversations unless you basically avoid having conversations at all. ![]() Sometimes, hard conversations lead to big breakthroughs in relationships that leave you feeling closer to each other than before. Having a hard conversation with your partner doesn’t have to mean the end of the relationship, though. Over time, things may even out, but in the short term, things might feel unequal for a while. Sometimes one partner will need more support than the other, and vice versa. Expectations shift, and the resources people can offer to a relationship don’t always stay the same. Hard conversations are inevitable in most relationships, even platonic ones.Įveryone changes as they age, and people don’t always change in ways that work together. Luckily, there are ways to make even the hardest conversations a little easier to manage. Whatever the reason, it makes sense that having hard conversations is hard. Others might feel like their feelings don’t matter as much as their partners. Some people might be afraid of how their partner will react. ![]() Some people have lived in situations where they couldn’t share their thoughts or feelings for fear of cruelty or abuse. So many of us have experiences in the past, whether growing up or in other adult relationships, where we felt afraid to say what we were thinking or feeling. ![]() When you need to have a hard conversation with someone, communication can seem impossible. One of the hardest things about any relationship is communication. 8 Tips for Hard Conversations in Your Relationship
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